Self esteem in ten steps
1. Take time to reflect on your life from time to time
Self reflection is very critical for your well being. This is when you take a few minutes a day to think of where your life is headed and how you can make it better. Don’t get me wrong, this is not the time to have a pity party on what you have not done etc. Instead, focus on what you want in life and what steps you will take that day to achieve your goals or live the life you desire. A little at a time gets you to your goal.
2. Find your authenticity
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
What do you like to do? What are you doing when you are most happy? What kind of person do you want to be? Seeking the answers to these questions will lead you to truly think of who you are so you can find out what makes you tick or what empowers you. Living life your way; doing what you enjoy is a self esteem booster all on its on. This is because when we are doing what we enjoy, what is unique to our talents, time passes by without us noticing or getting tired while all the while increasing your competence level .
“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
3. Get your values together and live by them
Your values are your principles- what you believe in. In times of crisis, what do you base your decisions on? Getting your values together is getting YOU together. There is so much I can say on this topic but a quote by Mahatma Gandhi summaries it like this;
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
When you look at the quote above, you will find that in order for you to embrace a value you want, you have to start with your habits, which are formed by your actions …. focusing on the habit part is very important . Changing my habits for the value I want to hone is the only way to go. This will further mean changing my actions. What I do on a daily basis forms my habits which form values that are my destiny.
When we plan how to live our lives, we discover we have been feeding habits that are detrimental to our self development. This happens without us realizing because we lead busy lives that go by so fast. We find a year has gone by while we tell ourselves that we will embark on a certain task/project soon. Planning our lives makes us live consciously which gives meaning to everything we do. This is because, we no longer operate like we are on autopilot, we do things meticulously and purposely and the result is more accomplishments and achievements.
Knowing your values and living by them energises you beyond what you would imagine. This gives you courage to express yourself positively in the way you walk and talk, and groom.
4. Groom well
“Contrary to the popular belief, looks are not superficial. They have the power to transform you completely.”
Grooming is the practice of taking care of your body and appearance. It is the process of making yourself neat and presentable. It goes beyond dressing because it also focuses on self hygiene. It focuses on things like, overall cleanliness, hair, nails, teeth, clothes, makeup etc. When you have taken extra attention on how groom, you feel empowered, energized, and ready to face the world. Think back to the last occasion you dressed for, did you not feel like you can take on the world and wanted every one to see you?
“We have always been invited to present our best selves…. We should be recognizable in appearance as well as in behavior that we truly are disciples of Christ.”
– Jeffrey R. Holland
5. Increase your competence
“it is easier to do a job right than to explain why you didnt”
― Martin Van Buren
Most of the time when we are feeling that we do not measure up to what is expected of us in a certain task or situation, we feel insecure and our confidence dips. When we feel that we are not good at what is to be done, we feel inadequate and this feeling is detrimental to self confidence. To feel more competent, we have to do and practice at whatever skills we aim to acquire. In the workplace, it goes a long way when you learn how to do a certain task well and keeping doing it. When we do well at something, we then increase our confidence.
“Skills make dreams happen. They build economies. They make people rich and famous. In today’s world, the demands for skills are staggering. Government, business and individuals have too much to achieve, their goals are huge. They are constantly, and I do mean constantly, looking for people with the right skills. People that can get the job done.”
― Emi Iyalla
6. Get prepared.
“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.”
It is important that we prepare for what we have to do by acquiring skills to complete the task at hand. With preparation, you can do what you want with ease. Preparing for the task at hand gives you the courage to keep learning and getting results. If it is public speaking you must do for example, you have to prepare what to say before hand so you do not run out of words. You also have to practice your speech several times so you can stand and put it across without so much sweat. If you will be attending a job interview, it will be imperative that you take time to prepare for the same before the interview day so that your confidence will bring out the best in you.
“I will prepare and some day my chance will come.”
― Abraham Lincoln
7. Train yourself to focus on the positive in any situation
“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough”
― Oprah Winfrey
Successful people have one thing in common; a positive attitude. For you to succeed in whatever you embark on, you will have to think positively towards it. You will never succeed at any task if you begin by thinking how it cannot be done. If you think it can be done, then you will think of a way. When you think it cannot be done, then it will not be done. Positive thinking is the one determinant for success in any endeavor. When you are in a situation that is perhaps not what you would have wished, train yourself to deduce the positives from that situation and quickly move on to another undertaking.
8. Improve your posture
“How you carry yourself speaks volumes about how you feel about yourself.”
― Cindy Ann Peterson
How you stand, walk and sit also determines your attitude towards yourself. As simple as it sounds, when you walk tall, you are bringing unto yourself feelings of pride, achievement and success. Strive to be gaiety in your walk. Sit properly without slouching. When you stand, strike a pose!
9. Keep a diary of your achievements
There is nothing as uplifting as reflecting on the things you have succeeded in. When you take time to outline your accomplishments in your mind, you will come out thinking just how great and amazing you are. You will then be able to achieve more as now you can attest that you can. It does not have to be big things. Just the fact that you set out to talk nicely to someone you do not feel kindly towards is an achievement for example. The fact that you did not curse in traffic is another and so on. When we celebrate small successes, we can then see the big ones and we are able to achieve more. Write down your accomplishments and achievements every day in a book or phone. Go through them frequently to reinforce them in your subconscious.
10. Create a library of inspiration materials
Cut out articles that inspire and motivate you. This also goes to beautiful photos that you like. File them in a lovely looking file and peruse frequently. Keep books that you like in one place. Refer to them often as our retention of information as human beings is limited.
“You are your greatest asset. Put your time, effort and money into training, grooming, and encouraging your greatest asset.”
– Anand Singh